Do we call him New Mexico or Ron Mexico Jr.?
You've all heard about the report that the Dolphins are bringing Vick's less talented and much more trouble-prone little bro to this weekend's minicamp. Big mistake.
I challenge any of you to name one former trouble-maker or druggie who simply turned things around and became a star for the Miami Dolphins. Outside of Irving Fryar, who turned into a productive player around the time he got born again, I cannot recall even one player who chased away the demons effectively enough to be productive on Sunday.
On the other hand, I can recall off the top of my head a bunch of guys who were trouble when the Dolphins gambled on them, and continued to be trouble afterward.
Chuck Muncie in the 1980s? He was traded to Miami and when he took his urinalysis, white powder came out.
Tony Collins back in 1990 didn't work out. Clayton Holmes, he of three failed drug tests with the Cowboys, failed another drug test before he got out of training camp his only year in Miami.
Demetrius Underwood came with emotional baggage and when that luggage landed in Miami, it detonated as Underwood tried to commit suicide during a bye weekend.
Cecil Collins came to Miami with a prison record and rewarded Jimmy Johnson's confidence in him by sneaking into some lady's apartment -- while her husband was home. So, of course, he rectified the situation by jumping out the window -- never mind he had missed a game or practice or something because of a sprained ankle.
The Diesel, by the way, is still serving a 15-year sentence for that parole violation.
LaCurtis Jones came to Miami in the 1996 draft with a reputation for violence, which seem OK if he channeled it strictly to the field. But when he got cut, he showed up at training camp with a gun. True story.
Lawrence Phillips was a thug at Nebraska, was a thug in St. Louis and when the Dolphins signed him, guess what? He was a thug in Miami.
Gene Atkins once punched out a teammate in New Orleans then came to Miami and argued with Louis Oliver and grabbed Tom Olivadotti on the sidelines.
Ricky Williams came to Miami with a reputation for being unpredictable and eccentric and guess what ... he's been unpredictable and eccentric with the Dolphins.
I can go on and on: Larry Webster (drugs) got suspended; Shane Burton (alcohol) got arrested for DUI; Tim McKyer (bad reputation) lasted only one year; Bobby Humphry (drugs) got shot; Tyrone Wheatley (I don't even remember his major malfunction when he came to Miami) got cut.
Are you getting the drift that there is a reason these guys get traded or don't get drafted? Are you getting the drift that when the Dolphins add these guys to the roster, they are inheriting someone else's headache?
Vick, according to three sources, was completely off the draft board of at least 21 NFL teams from my count. They obviously knew something about the kid that overshadowed his good arm and 4.47 speed.
He got suspended in 2004 and was finally kicked off the Virginia Tech team after last season -- even after his older brother had taken him in and tried to set him on the right direction.
So now he comes to the Dolphins for a tryout and the team will say it hasn't invested anything in the guy and it doesn't hurt to give the guy a chance because, what the heck, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
But that's very shortsighted. Every snap he takes in this minicamp, is one less snap a more worthwhile player doesn't get. Every moment he spends with a coach, is one less moment that coach is investing on a player that isn't as likely to get into trouble down the road.
The sad thing is sometimes guys like Mexico Jr. look like they've gotten their act together, make you start trusting that everything is fine and then ... poof, the air goes out of the good-guy balloon.
They revert to their old ways and it always happens at the wrong time. Bobby Humphrey was great for the Dolphins for a while that 1992 season and then when Miami got to the AFC title game against Buffalo, he mysteriously shows up 30 minutes before the game and lays a huge egg that day.
Collins wasn't much of an investment and J.J. didn't expect much from him until he actually worked his way into the starting lineup and then when the team started to count on him ... he reverted to his old ways.
At the end of the day it simply is not worth it, people. These players come wrapped in much talent and potential but tear open the attractive exterior and you get a package full of unreliability.
Nick Saban should know that because he's been victimized by unreliable players as surely as Don Shula and J.J. and Dave Wannstedt were.
He might not agree, but the proof is right there on Miami's 2006 depth chart -- the one that doesn't include Ricky Williams at running back.