A conversation leading up to a bad decision
So here is the conversation the Dolphins might have had in the next two minutes after the team breaks the huddle.
Cam Cameron (over the team's headsets): What are we doing? I'm not sure about this. Call timeout!!!
John Beck at the line of scrimmage: What are we doing? I'm not sure about this. Oh, coach called time out. Time out!!!
(On the sideline now)
Cameron: I think we should go for touchdown. Let's put some pressure on those guys.
Beck: So what play do we call?
Cameron: Well, we're only one yard from the goal line. So let me see here ... What play on my sheet do I have that will pitch the ball six yards back to move one yard forward? HMMM. Got it. Let's call $%^& @#$ %$+_!&. Let me talk to Jesse Chatman about this.
Chatman, over at the sideline now: Yeah, coach?
Cameron: Jesse, we're going to give you the ball on this one because we have confidence in you now that you don't overeat anymore.
Chatman: I'm ready. Up the gut, straight at them, right coach?
Cameron: Not quite. We believe they're going to blitz so we're going to pitch it to you wide.
Chatman: OK, quick pitch, right coach?
Cameron: Not quite. We've got this special unorthodox pitch that makes Beck look like he's physically challenged and pitches like a girl. We'll try that pitch. Now, the ball's on the 1 but you'll be at the 7 yard line when you get the ball on this ridiculous-looking pitch.
Cameron: Yeah, trust me LaDainian Tomlinson used to love this play and you're as good as he is.
Chatman: I am?
Cameron: I say you are and I'm an offensive genius so believe in me because everything else I've said this year has been correct and has come to pass -- like when I told Wayne Huizenga we'd be a good team, and when I had Randy Mueller trade for my son Trent Green, and when I ordered that squib kick against the Jets and when I signed off on playing Joey Porter at defensive end.
Chatman and Beck: OOOOKAAAAAY.
Cameron: One thing, Jesse, when you get the ball on the 7 to gain 1 yard, you'll have to beat one defender.
Chatman: I can do that coach. Who's blocking that guy for me?
Cameron: Stupid question, Jesse. You're freakin' Jesse Chatman. You don't need a lead blocker. You're a career backup who was out of the league last year. You can make any man miss. You're on your own, son. Make that defensive end who is bigger and stronger and quicker than you miss. Beat him!
Chatman: But ...
Cameron: No buts. Have faith that even if you beat him, that quick reacting Philadelphia defense won't recover in time to run to the football and tackle you before you get in the end zone. Tomlinson used to do it. You can do it!
Official: We're coming back coach, get your guys on the field.
Cameron: Thank you Mr Zebra. Now remember men, you must succeed. I admit to you this is a grand risk of a call and I will admit that to the media in my press conference tomorrow. But we have just burned a timeout and discussed this long and hard and this was the best play I could come up with in this situation. Boy I wish I hadn't shown the Statue of Liberty in the preseason. Anyway, get out there and remember I have confidence you will fail forward fast.
Announcer: Chatman on the pitch. Thomas is unblocked. Has Chatman in his sights. Chatman is tackled for a 13-yard loss. Philadelphia ball.