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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

A conversation leading up to a bad decision

It is fourth down and the Dolphins are on the Eagles 1 yard line. So the Dolphins coaching staff, with nothing to lose in this winless season, decides to go for the TD in a 17-7 game. Sure there is 6:45 yet to play and the game is far from over, but we're going to gamble on getting a TD because we may never, ever get on another team's 1 yard line again.

So here is the conversation the Dolphins might have had in the next two minutes after the team breaks the huddle.

Cam Cameron (over the team's headsets): What are we doing? I'm not sure about this. Call timeout!!!

John Beck at the line of scrimmage: What are we doing? I'm not sure about this. Oh, coach called time out. Time out!!!

(On the sideline now)

Cameron: I think we should go for touchdown. Let's put some pressure on those guys.

Beck: So what play do we call?

Cameron: Well, we're only one yard from the goal line. So let me see here ... What play on my sheet do I have that will pitch the ball six yards back to move one yard forward? HMMM. Got it. Let's call $%^& @#$ %$+_!&. Let me talk to Jesse Chatman about this.

Chatman, over at the sideline now: Yeah, coach?

Cameron: Jesse, we're going to give you the ball on this one because we have confidence in you now that you don't overeat anymore.

Chatman: I'm ready. Up the gut, straight at them, right coach?

Cameron: Not quite. We believe they're going to blitz so we're going to pitch it to you wide.

Chatman: OK, quick pitch, right coach?

Cameron: Not quite. We've got this special unorthodox pitch that makes Beck look like he's physically challenged and pitches like a girl. We'll try that pitch. Now, the ball's on the 1 but you'll be at the 7 yard line when you get the ball on this ridiculous-looking pitch.

Chatman: Really?

Cameron: Yeah, trust me LaDainian Tomlinson used to love this play and you're as good as he is.

Chatman: I am?

Cameron: I say you are and I'm an offensive genius so believe in me because everything else I've said this year has been correct and has come to pass -- like when I told Wayne Huizenga we'd be a good team, and when I had Randy Mueller trade for my son Trent Green, and when I ordered that squib kick against the Jets and when I signed off on playing Joey Porter at defensive end.

Chatman and Beck: OOOOKAAAAAY.

Cameron: One thing, Jesse, when you get the ball on the 7 to gain 1 yard, you'll have to beat one defender.

Chatman: I can do that coach. Who's blocking that guy for me?

Cameron: Stupid question, Jesse. You're freakin' Jesse Chatman. You don't need a lead blocker. You're a career backup who was out of the league last year. You can make any man miss. You're on your own, son. Make that defensive end who is bigger and stronger and quicker than you miss. Beat him!

Chatman: But ...

Cameron: No buts. Have faith that even if you beat him, that quick reacting Philadelphia defense won't recover in time to run to the football and tackle you before you get in the end zone. Tomlinson used to do it. You can do it!

Official: We're coming back coach, get your guys on the field.

Cameron: Thank you Mr Zebra. Now remember men, you must succeed. I admit to you this is a grand risk of a call and I will admit that to the media in my press conference tomorrow. But we have just burned a timeout and discussed this long and hard and this was the best play I could come up with in this situation. Boy I wish I hadn't shown the Statue of Liberty in the preseason. Anyway, get out there and remember I have confidence you will fail forward fast.

Announcer: Chatman on the pitch. Thomas is unblocked. Has Chatman in his sights. Chatman is tackled for a 13-yard loss. Philadelphia ball.

101 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is great

1:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You're freakin' Jesse Chatman"
Thats funny, Armando!

I liked the decision to go for the TD there, I just didn't like the playcall.
BUT smashing it up the middle on 1st and 3rd downs didn't work. so you gotta try something else.
How about letting Beck throw again -- his pass on 2nd down was a good throw, just well defensed.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Eric said...

This is funny, but I can't believe this is the same Armando Salguero who said the Fins would make this year's playoffs!

1:09 PM  
Anonymous Randy said...

I do think the Dolphins were absolutely right in going for the TD on 4th and goal from the 1, but I agree that the play called was horrendous. I never understood the idea of going several yards backward to gain a few feet forward in such situations. I was actually expecting Cam to call the ol' Statue of Liberty play--but am thankful he didn't. It would be interesting to know if the play called was actually what we saw. Did everything go as expected?

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am stil LMAO!!!!

Great post Mando!!!

1:14 PM  
Anonymous save_us.y2j said...

The call to go for it was the right move, it was just the wrong play. However, if Ronnie Brown was still healthy, the team wouldn't have needed four downs to punch it in. Anyways, very creative Armando.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

brilliant!

1:18 PM  
Anonymous Andres said...

Very funny.
Do you think we can get Parcells to come in and coach the last 6 games?
Ive just about had it with Cameron.

1:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Had it worked he would be a god and Armando would be blowing Cameron....they thought there would be an all out blitz...probably was a good bet with a rookie QB back there on 4th down....what a loser you are Armando....get a f-ing life, you have no clue about football!

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's the last time I read any of your columns. How you have a job doing this is a disgrace to the Miami Herald.

1:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hysterical.

At least Ted Ginn Jr's family scored their first return TD.

1:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell the truth Armandito, you got Dave Barry to write this for you because this was as good as anything he typically writes. Better, actually.

Great job!!!!

2:16 PM  
Anonymous Tommy said...

Armando said on his Live Blog that he wanted the Dolphins to kick a field goal before they ran the play, so I doubt Armando would be, as anonymous crudely writes, "blowing" Cameron for going for the TD even if had worked.

Moron.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Rico said...

"You're freaking Jesse Chattman" LMAO!!!!

If Cam takes anything from this awfull display of offensive showing...is that we need a RB that can stuff the ball down a D line's throat...Can you say RICKY!!!!

2:19 PM  
Blogger Ken said...

Mando,

And you think Cam should be back next year? This guy is a TOOL.

2:21 PM  
Blogger Armando Salguero said...

Ken, Impossible to make a wise decision at this point. We don't know if the Dolphins turn things around the next month or not.

We don't know if the team goes winless or not.

We don't know if Bill Cowher calls Wayne and says, "I'm available."

Others at my paper and other papers have already written that Cameron must come back next year, but that is a rush to judgment every bit as much as saying he should be fired.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Ken said...

My concern is that this draft is going to be WAY too important to give Cam/Randy once more chance for next year. If a big named guy is available (and wants to be here), Wayne HAS to go him.

Let's all be honest, Cam Cameron - Coach of the Year....Cam Cameron - Super Bowl Winning coach.....AIN'T happening.

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So looking back now, it doesn't look like it was the best play to run... However, I see no need to mock our coach! This is ridiculous!

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess they should have fired Jimmy Johnson after he went 1-15 in his first season with the Cowboys, instead of showing patience with a young team and then going on to win multiple Super Bowls.

3:13 PM  
Anonymous TheTruth said...

Two reactions to previous two posts:

Cam Cameron is 0-10. He pretty much mocks himself.

And JJ one a game and won a national title in college. Cam Cameron hasn't won a game and was 15-35 as a college head coach.

3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Cam deserves a chance to let the young guys he and Mueller brought in to develope, and of course get more talent around them. This draft was one of the best we've had in probably 10 to 15 years. If we have 1 or 2 more drafts like this Cam could have a very young competitive team on his hands.

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Patrick said...

You got me on that one! Great stuff!

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Slow sports day, Armando?

3:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a big fan (since the Woodley days) living in MD and I read all these posts everyday and feel close to the Dolphins. I must tell you this post, although funny, is not a post I expect from Armando.

What the heck were you thinking? 'hmmm... I have nothing to blog today, let me make fun of the missed opportunity on 4th down that caused our home team the game...' DUMB...

You nrmally have good interesting thinks to write about, but this was rediculously dumb!!!!

3:36 PM  
Blogger Ken said...

How is this a great draft????? I know Rookies are starting, but who cares??? It's not like Rookies are starting and winning games. They're starting because the other guys put around them sucked, many of which were either kept or acquired by the current regime, including a quarterback who doesn't know whether it's snowing or Tuesday.

3:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ken, relatively speaking, it's a great draft... look at the last 7 or 8 years and tell me that this draft is not better already?

3:57 PM  
Anonymous finheavenblows said...

Thank you Armando for giving me something to smile about in a season the Dolphins have been a joke but I have not been laughing. Great job.

4:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too funny, Mando!!! Very creative. And it probably happened just that way.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I man didn't say we had a great draft, he said......and i quote: "This draft was one of the best we've had in probably 10 to 15years". Big difference between the two! It really saddens me as a hardcore fan because that really isn't saying too much considering the drafts we've had over that period of time!!!

Funny post Armando....a little humor never hurts during times like these!

4:23 PM  
Blogger Ken said...

The Dolphins are on the clock.....


With the first pick of the 2008 NFL Draft, the Miami Dolphins chose......The rest of The Ginn Family...

4:37 PM  
Anonymous The Real Dolphins Insider said...

This is funny. But this is funnier and it really happened:

One of the Dolphins buses headed to the game in Philadelphia was slowed by a bike rider who got in front of the bus and wouldn't get out of the way.

The bus driver stands on the horn and the bike rider simply gives him the finger.

Well, Dolphins Enterprise CEO Joe Bailey gets up and starts cursing at the bike rider and giving him the finger also.

The interesting thing is it happened in the city of Brotherly Love.

4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Armando,
That reminds me of a Wannstedt play vs the Bills before Ricky's Retirement Season. Fourth and two at around the Bills' 35... doable but a reach for Mare, but they're losing and not playing well... Lucas is the QB and has legs... Big Ricky can get you two yards... or you can punt and pin Buffalo (not moving the ball well themselves) inside the 10. The choice? Some wacky fake FG attempt that even the Bills defense could figure out...with some bizarre formation that left Lucas all alone to get nailed and improve the Bills' field position. Does anyone remember that?
--C

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another conversation leading up to a bad decision

It is a Tuesday and the Dolphins are on the schnide. So the Miami Herald's Dolphins beat staff, with nothing to report in this winless season, decides to mess with the coach. Sure there is 6 games yet to play and the season is far from over, but we're going to mess with him anyway, because we may never, ever get another day where there's nothing else to blog about.

So here is the conversation the staff might have had in the next two minutes after lunch.

Armando: Hey, I'm gonna write a blog about what kind of ego maniac and all around bad guy Cameron is. I know great. I'm great. Cam's not great.

Cote: Awesome.

Darlington: Are those things really true?

Armando & Cote: Shut up!

LeBatard: Yeah, Darly, where's my dry cleaning.

Armando: (Sarcastically) Yeah, I'm gonna write it. I'm so tired of everyone saying I'm an eternal optimist.

Cote: Anyone have any beer?

Armando: I just hate the Dolphins. They're f-ing losers. Why can't they be great like my favorite team, the Pats.

Darlington: I thought you liked the Jets?

Armando: I did last year, when they were winning...duh...now I like the Pats. Why are you still here?

Cote: Whaddya think of my new pink shirt with a white collar?

Armando: (typing away) I also hate Cameron. Everything he's done has sucked. I swear how much of loser does he have to be to make all the mistakes he's made...oh damnit...typo...anyway what was I saying?

Darlington: Has everything he's really done sucked? The offensive line, good draft, a high moral...

Armando: Seriously, shut up. His morals are out the window anyway. He brought back Ricky.

Darlington: Yeah, but you thought Ricky shouldn't come back, then you changed your mind.

Armando: Darla, are you even shaving yet? Go wash my car or something.

(Pope walks in)

Pope: Armando, I hear your writing a blog about Cameron.

Armando: (rolling his eyes) Yes sir.

Pope: Make sure its factual. Reporting with integrity and all that.

Armando: Yes sir.

(Pope leaves)

Armando: Man I hate that guy, he's so old he doesn't even know what a blog is.

LeBatard: I'm off for another massage. Ta-ta.

Armando: I guess the old guy is right, I don't want to lie. Not cause its wrong, but because I could get into trouble.

Cote: (just waking up) Breasts! Wha...oh sorry...I must have been dreaming. Hey, Mando my man, why don't you write your blog as if it were a pretend conversation. That way you could say all the things you feel, and it won't be a lie.

Armando: That's a great idea Cotey!

Cote: Thanks. Breasts!


by Tony V.

4:52 PM  
Blogger Ken said...

Tony V, you have a lot of time on your hands.....and that wasn't even funny......Your boss must be proud.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Armando Salguero said...

Tony V: Very funny. Very imaginative. But it's obviously fiction because it assumes the Herald staff is ever in the same room and talks to one another.

5:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Armando:

Yeah I know assumptions are pretty silly, even in jest. Hmm.

Tony V.

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ken:

Actually Ken, it didn't take that long. Oh yeah, I own my own business, so I'm pretty sure the boss is ok pretty proud. Thanks though.

Tony V.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The mockery in this piece, which I found very funny, is not a good sign for Cameron. But, unfortunately, I think it's dead-on deserved. Very unfortunately. He might be a good coach. But, in the latest blogs I've read and in this piece, I'm sensing a tipping point, that fans are just starting to feel a disdain for he and his coaching and personal philosophy that has proven so fu!@#$g ineffective.

5:19 PM  
Blogger Ken said...

Tony,

Is your real name Wayne Huizenga?

5:34 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Armando, the decision to go for the TD was the correct one. The play that Cam called was just a poor choice, just like the call on second down was.

Cam should have called dive plays or QB sneaks on four consecutive downs. One of them would have scored.

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Simon Clancy said...

It's typical media second guessing. If Cameron had kicked the FG, Salguero and his merry band of idiots would have bemoaned the fact that we didn't go for a TD.

I am summarily amazed week in and week out how easy it is for the najority of Miami sports writers who love to play the game of 2nd guessing, all the while gorging themselves on the press box free lunches.

Nonsense.

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Armando is an idiot. Who was the one who predicted 10 - 6?
Answer = The Idiot

5:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ken:

Yup, you guessed it, good job. Seriously, if were going to play this game, are you Fireman Ed?


Simon Clancy:

Way to drop the um...boom, er.

5:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, if a big name is available you have to go out and get him. Uh-huh. You mean like Jimmy Johnson? Or Nick Saban? When will you people ever learn from your mistakes.

Instability has destroyed this team, and while Cameron hasn't nailed down all of the finer points of game management, do you really think more change is what this team needs? Now?

How stupid.

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, if a big name is available you have to go out and get him. Uh-huh. You mean like Jimmy Johnson? Or Nick Saban? When will you people ever learn from your mistakes.

Instability has destroyed this team, and while Cameron hasn't nailed down all of the finer points of game management, do you really think more change is what this team needs? Now?

How stupid.

6:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joe Bailey should be the first guy fired when the season ends!!! The guy is the President of the team and has no clue about about what it takes to have a winning franchise.

6:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your're freakin' Jesse Chapman!!!!

Classic

the new Dolphin catch phrase LOL!

6:23 PM  
Blogger Marc said...

Pretty funny....Well, kinda

Wonder where jdizzle is, haven't seen him in a while

6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think its funny that "The Truth" compares coaching in college to probable success in the NFL...how'd Saban do? Steve Spurrier anyone? How about Lou Holtz?

College ball rarely translates to the NFL.

I'm really tired of people who know NOTHING about IU giving Cam a hard time. It holds ZERO water/validity in any argument against him...no one has developed a stellar football program there. IU is a basketball school. Period.

~JinVA

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The reason for firing Cam should be an evaluation of his performance weighed against replacements.

Right now I believe Cam's performance is fairly poor with ALOT of BAD DECISIONS. Cam's ASKING TO BE FIRED!!!!

Unfortunately 0-fer is the only thing that will get Wayne Hire-Zingers (aka Nero) to do anything. He's been fiddling for 10 years while we suffer.

7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny, and probably accurate to some degree. Yet i dont buy that Cam should be fired. Bottom line is this revolving door policy of coaches and players are a big reason why we are here a 0-10. Next thing you know we are the new Browns or the Lions who expect perfection right away. Hire whomever you want, fire everyone and we will still stink. The only constant that comes to mind is the owner. So instead of complining about how crappy the coaches descisions are, how about you stop going to games, and stop buying season tickets. Ultimately its a product right? They bottle it and sell it just like a can of pop, but the difference is that when you buy a can of pop that tastes like $h!t you dont buy it anymore...

Food for thought Dolphans, you can still be a fan, just quit making this guy richer if he aint putting out a product to your liking.

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was great. It's about time we all start to wake up to the true moron this man CaMoron is! We all got a taste back in April with this clown. I knew back on that infuriating April day that this was gonna be a bad year. I just didn't know HOW BAD. This guy needs to be fired the day after the season ends. I'm sure Dan is recruiting Cowler on the side. Hopefully something good will come out of this. Cowler in 08' ?

9:09 PM  
Anonymous Doug said...

"Boy I wish I hadn't shown the Statue of Liberty in the preseason."

You rolled in this article. Hilarious. And how did you ever get Cameron to reveal what actually transpired during the time-out. Excellent.

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its amazing how people bring up good points and they are overlooked: Armando predicted this team would go 10-6! If he wants to bash and mock Cam, he deserves it too.

9:17 PM  
Anonymous guitariff said...

you know, it never ceases to amaze me how everybody wants to give armando crap for predicting 10-6. do you people realize that we lost 5 games by 3 points? nobody predicted the defense would completely fall apart, and if they didn't we would be sitting at 4-6 or 5-5. besides it is called a prediction, not a fact. so please just let it go already.

9:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Big deal. Armando's predections mean crap. I predicted the dolphins would be 3-13 before the season started, and I'm probably going to be off by 3 games.

The bottom line is since day one when the Culpepper fiasco occurred, Cameron lost the JT and the defense. He could say then that the circus atmosphere didn't affect the team - just like he can say now that being 0-10 doesn't affect the team.

He's way over his head, period. I would prefer to get the actual rebuilding started with a new coach next year - rather than waste more time with a guy that looks and acts like an idiot.

Just looking at the pictures of his dopey outfit on the sidelines of each game makes me ashamed to be a dolphin's fan.

He makes Wannsedt look like a mensa member.

10:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tony V for President.
That was rich.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous NYScott said...

I agree that it was a bad call but to publicly mock the coach is an even worse call. More than that you have people in here giving you kudos for trying to humiliate a man whos worst crime has been to try and be an NFL coach. That's right, he didn't kill dogs, he didn't take steroids, he didn't smoke weed, he didn't lie in a murder case, he didn't get caught with weapons in his trunk. He just tried to make our team better, and so far he has failed. Does that mean he should be publicly mocked and humiliated? He probably wont get the chance but if I were him and I became succesful in Miami I would lock you out of every press conference. To write your opinion about how someone is performing at their job is one thing but to humiliate someone for the sake of making your buddys laugh is immature. I could just imagine at sometime in your life you were the little Mando in the schoolyard who was picked on and swore revenge. Problem is your taking it out on the wrong person. Grow up.

10:48 PM  
Blogger Armando Salguero said...

Actually NYScott, I was the guy in the school yard nobody messed with.

As for trying to humiliate anyone, this whole post was a joke and anyone that believes it is anything more than that needs to get over themselves.

Everyday in America, editorial cartoonists and late night show hosts take unfair shots at The President of the country and nobody bats an eyelash.

And you're getting your undies all in a bunch because I'm making fun of a situation that practically mocks itself? I think YOU need to grow up because it is time to become an adult.

By the way, folks, I picked the Dolphins to go 10-6 because I'm an optimist and I believed what the so-called experts inside the organization were telling me. I was wrong. So were they. It's a prediction. Big deal. It's not like I blew a fact or gave up a source. But I don't mind the criticism because I'm accountable and I'm not too worried that not everyone rises with a standing ovation whenever I enter a room.

At the midway point of this season, when the Herald asked all its football writers and columnists to predict what record the team would finish with, knowing the Dolphins were 0-8, I still picked 10-6 because I can make fun of myself. I also don't delete posts ripping me regardless of how insipid or foolish because it doesn't bother me what a stranger might think -- especially if he's wrong.

So take this post for what it's worth. It's fun. Nothing more. And if you bug me too much about it, I might leave it up Wednesday, too.

11:07 PM  
Anonymous guitariff said...

nice armando, i like the comment about pesident bush. everybody bashes him everyday and nobody thinks twice about it. well put, it's a joke take it for what it's worth!

11:17 PM  
Blogger Armando Salguero said...

Yeah Guitariff, people take liberties with the man and the office he holds which commands and demands respect.

Funny how folks say he's not smart because his speech pattern is not perfect. Except that he went to an Ivy League School, had better grades than the so-called intellectual John Kerry, married a beautiful lady, got elected to governor of Texas twice and got elected President of the United States twice. Think about that next time someone says the guy is not smart.

11:25 PM  
Anonymous guitariff said...

i like how the democrats want to talk about how stupid he is, but yet they can't find a candidate to beat him. boy, our president sure is dumb isn't he!

11:29 PM  
Blogger Ron in Charlotte said...

I would vote for John Beck for President.

11:49 PM  
Anonymous zdolphin said...

Salguero I have a conversation for you

Here is mando 'thinking' (that is an oxymoron to end all oxymorons)to himself:

"How can I stir up more moronic 'fans' and diss the coach today? I mean after all I know so much more football than this cam guy anyway, at least most of the moronic 'fans' in my blog think I do.

O yeah! I will pretend that I was in a conversation in which Cam chose the the play at 4th and two last Sunday. Then I will mock and ridicule him and make him look like a buffon. The moronic 'fans' in my Blog will lap it up and my blog will keep on getting more and more hits.

Yeah that's it I will continue to prostitute myself with no shame or class. After all, I can always go to church on Sunday and Jeeesus will forgive me. Man life is sweet , think, if it was Satan he would have me beat up , but this guy cam ... he is too much of a gentleman , the putz"

You have no shame, integrity, honor, class or manhood mando!

11:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yo mando, the last post-er above me is crazy man

12:21 AM  
Anonymous Zach de la Rocha said...

Guitariff shows his flapaphile self again, and Armando shows he is also one.
Unfair shots at the president... George Bush took the American people to war with lies that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. George Bush avoided the rules of the Geneva Conventions as they relate to prisoners of war by labeling prisoners as "illegal enemy combatants" instead of "prisoners of war," in his war on terror, so that he could have them tortured. George Bush didn't respond to Hurricane Katrina soon enough because it was only poor people being killed.
None of these are unfair shots, Armando. Anybody who supports Bush and his decisions already has a bullet in their head.

12:43 AM  
Anonymous guitariff said...

i really wish that one of you anti-war activists would answer my question. how many of you would be willing to give your life to end the war? because i have already showed that i am willing to give mine for this country and it's war on terrorism. so you can b*tch and complain all you want but, actions speak louder than words!

2:09 AM  
Blogger funkyj said...

Hillarious post Armando! Given the "ohfer" factor we need a bit of humor.

And you other folks, lay off Ted Ginn's family -- they have seen the endzone plenty of times. It is not their fault the Dolphins have a penchant for sabotaging good plays with penalties.

4:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Might have been a good play call if let's say, the pitch was to RICKY. But alas, it wasn't, and our idiot coach probably would not have had him in if he was available.

7:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can we go ahead and hire Bill the chin now??? PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? good aggressive approach going for the TD but then a stoooooooopid chicken shit call after a perfect dropped ball on 2nd down...you would think you could line up 5 wide and have beck run it in at least...i'm just a fan, what do i know?

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Tupac Amaru said...

Don't worry guitariff, if the United States invades Iran, which could cause a WWIII, since China, Venezuela, Bolivia, Nicaragua, Argentina, and Ecuador would be but a few of Iran's allies, I will be fighting against the United States. Don't think that there aren't many people within the Unites States that would organize against its government if it keeps on invading sovereign nations.

8:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If only the reporter would actually do some REPORTING. Lazy and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Jerry said...

Guitariff,
I didn't know that George Bush was waiting for someone to sacrifice himself in order to get him to end the war. If I knew this was the case, I would have done it a long time ago.

Mr. Amaru, the great Inca warrior, I hope you know that guitariff is probably reporting you to the FBI right now.

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Tupac Amaru said...

It's cool. I used a computer from the university's library. I'm all good.

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tony V-

That was absolutely hilarious. While I generally respect Armando's reporting (which this piece wasn't), you completely nailed the "perception" many of us have of the pecking order as it relates to the crack Dolphins journalism team at the Herald.

Great job!

Mando, instead of dreaming up fake conversations on slow days, how about doing a nice in-depth analysis of how Jay Feely's short kickoffs MIGHT be one aspect that has contributed to the demise of the defense. I am NOT saying getting rid of Mare was a bad move, but how did that "Northeastern kicker" do last week on a very make-able field goal?

Matt in NC

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Fred said...

Tupac, you forgot Russia as an ally of Iran. I assume that Russia would side with that group over the U.S. with how their relationship has been going. Russia would at least keep selling weapons to those countries, as it is currently doing with Venezuela.

8:45 AM  
Anonymous Patrick said...

Armando, for all of us out here who can interpret a joke when we read one. Please don't leave it up! A joke is only funny the 1st time you read it.

I would like to warn you about the influence you have over the people in the Dolphin community. I'm kind of a believer that there is karma in the world. Not some mystic crap, but energy that comes from the general collective psyche of a closely knit group of people. People like the players, the fans and coaches of this football team.

If we believe as a group we will lose, then that is exactly what will happen. If we mock our coach we have in effect perpetuated the negative vibrations mon...

So while you did bring a good chuckle from me, I think it is time that we, the fans and the players and coaches begin to think about winning and what it takes to change from being losers to being winners. Because I don't know about everyone else but when the Dolphins lose, I feel like a loser. I'm not much into that.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Kevin said...

Patrick.....you can believe as a group you gonna win, but if you lack the talent, it will never happen.
I believe we must vent our frustrations, otherwise we will take it out on the ones we love.
Everyone who reads this blog wants nothing more than to have the Fins be the Pats, but we gave all our best players to them and now we suck!
What's this I keep hearing about a Shula/Marino ownership quest? Can anyone verify this? Sounds very promising.

9:44 AM  
Blogger Armando Salguero said...

Let me see ... Bolivia, Ecuador, Argentina, Venezuela and Nicaragua joining Iran, Russia and China? Against us? With a bunch of yahoos on America's streets led by Tupac fomenting dissent from inside our own borders? This sounds like a movie.

Here's the reality: Take China out of that equation. Its government is all about itself not joining that motely axis of stupidity you just fabricated. China can field a 200 million man army and figures if that confrontation does take place, it will stay out until the fighting is done, and then it will clean up afterward.

Now as to the others, the fact of the matter is only Iran is stupid enough to actually fight. The South American countries are too poor and too technologically backward to pose any threat to anyone. The only damage done by them is when Venezuela cuts off the oil supply and that would last about a week until the US Marines go down there and take it by force.

Russia with Iran? They are a formidable foe. But against the US, Great Britain, Australia, Japan, and the trump card ISRAEL, it wouldn't be long before the Bear retreats and Imadinnerjacket is left alone in his Member's Only with no backing.

OK, enough of war games for me. Have fun guys, I have to go "do some real reporting" and crunch some numbers on Jay Feely's kickoffs which I'm sure everyone is eager to read about. Or maybe I'll just go have breakfast instead, ignoring boring blog ideas, and letting this topic simmer for a while longer.

God bless America!

10:03 AM  
Blogger Armando Salguero said...

PS Tupac, you are in the United States, getting an American education, likely getting financial aid that MY tax dollars paid for, dating (I presume) American women. And you would be fighting against the US in the streets?

Proof many college kids don't get a real education until they leave campus.

10:12 AM  
Anonymous KRL said...

Yo Tupac,

Maybe we should strike first and invade you since you want to overthrow the sovereign government of the United States of America. At least useful will be done while the Dolphins are rebuilding ;)

10:21 AM  
Anonymous NYScott said...

So you were the kid in the schoolyard that got everyone else to make fun of someone or were you the tough guy loner type? :) Just kidding Mando and for whatever it's worth your blog is for you to write whatever you want. It's a free country. I just read it at the wrong time and was in a bad mood so that was my response. I hate to see someone get kicked when they are already down.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Boomer said...

"Anonymous said...
Armando is an idiot. Who was the one who predicted 10 - 6?
Answer = The Idiot"

What a tough guy, a VIPer hiding behind the anonimity.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous NYScott said...

The "war on terrorism" oh man, that's just too funny. While all the terrorists are hiding in Pakistan and Afghanistan and any other country that will take them we're in Iraq fighting terrorists who don't exist in that country. Bush IS brilliant because he has most of the country believing this war is about terrorism. The terrorists are alive and well and we have done NOTHING to make our country safer from them. Anyone want to argue this one? Any proof that we are safer from terrorists today than we were seven years ago?

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way to support the team.

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Same pay with Ricky & it's a TD

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did Armando really just defend Dubya's lack of intelligence b/c he married a "beautiful woman" and won two of the most controversial and under-handed elections of our nations history?

Thats aside, did you really say that b/c he went to Yale, he has to be smart?

You do know that not only was he a legacy, but his father was a senator at the time. I am sure that was a hard application to fill out.

Yeah, he is a freaking genius and has been tricking us all along.

Armando, well done.

11:12 AM  
Blogger Armando Salguero said...

New, more controversial (and not funny) post is up. Please go over there to rip me.

NYScott: No worries, bro. I appreciate you being on here. I greatly enjoy your POV. And for the record, I didn't mess with anyone and didn't let anyone mess with me.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Armando Salguero said...

Anonymous, He had better grades at YALE than Kerry had at YALE. And he won two of the most controversial elections?

Dude, the 2000 election was scrutinized by every investigative reporter in the country. My newspaper alone had a dozen reporters (most of them lefties) looking for the slightest loophole in the process and found NONE. This is the same publication, by the way, that won a Pulitzer Prize for exposing corruption in Miami. So get real and accept facts.

11:18 AM  
Blogger AO said...

Armando, I can't believe that you think that George Bush is smart because he went to an Ivy League school. . . .don't you know that schools are not a meritocracy; they will admit anyone whose mommy and daddy have money (not to mention, a legacy of daddy CIA and grandaddy Senator). That's the way they build the endowment. If you don't believe me, ask John Stossel, who did a big report on 20/20. The dean of Duke even admitted it. It is ironic that the biggest beneficiary of affirmative action is its biggest detractor. No, it's not ironic, it's more evidence of his complete lack of introspection and intelligence. It makes me sick that a poor Cuban chick from Westchester like I is about a thousand times more articulate than George Bush. George Bush does not have an odd speach pattern. He is stupic and inarticulate. If he said intelligent analytical things in an ungraceful way, you would have a point. But he says simplistic stupid things in an ungraceful way. The man is a disgrace.

11:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Armondo is it possible the Eagles just called Cams bluff on a possible HalfBack pass??? But we all think it was a half back pitch back and run? It sure looked like a stunt LT would pull off.

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Armando, I'm a fan of your writing ... and this was my favorite of your pieces that I've ever read. Way to go!

To everybody who follows the sportswriter party line, that "going for it was the right call, but they ran the wrong play," you're simply flat-out WRONG. The Dolphins were TWO scores down with less than seven minutes on the clock. They HAD TO get one score out of the situation. Anything besides getting a score is a FAILURE that leaves the team OUT OF THE GAME. It's easy to see the up-side of going for it. Why can't fans, sportswriters, players and Coach Cam Cameron see the DOWNSIDE, which is that if you fail on fourth down, you likely LOSE THE GAME? A chip-shot FG KEEPS YOU IN THE GAME!

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about some trickery? Bafoonery?
Line up our biggest defensive player at the lone fullback position and after the snap surprise them with a naked quarterback bootleg run for a touchdown. That would have lifted our boys mentally emotionally and physically for our first win. But Cameron is an idiot. He has no guts, no crativity, he can't coach out of a bag made out of toilet paper.!

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Armando:

Any greatness America has is due to the Constitution. That gives guys like Tupac to express his displeasure about the current state of our government. It also gives you the ability to participate in free speech. Those are probably the two most important rights we have. The Constitution does not however, give the President/Congress the right to torture or force people to be locked up indefinitely without a trial, conviction, or representation or deny people basic rights, like marriage. Forget the wars, Katrina, the public gaffes, the travesties committed against our Constitution are enough reasons to be against this President/Congress or any President/Congress who circumvents the foundation of this country. And if any of you out there are patriotic and love this country, you should love that piece of paper, more than the guy who's abusing it. Supporting anyone in power who abuses the Constitution is actually the opposite of a patriot. Not too mention you should never give up freedoms for safety. If being safe is better than being free, walk around in a suit of armor for a week, then tell me how you feel.

Tony V.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sigh. A rather weak & lame attempt at humor.

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys do realize Armando picked them to be 10-6 as a way to dig at the coach all along. He knew they weren't going to be good, but since Cam said he expected a good team and season, he made sure and make that prediction so he could throw what Cam said back in his face.

Cam deserves all of this, he has taken this team on differing paths (youth movement sometimes, signing vets another time).

His gameday management has been awful, and he has taken a defense that was aging and done nothing to improve it. All while virtually ignoring it in the preseason under the assumption Capers would just "handle that whole side of the ball."

Cameron was terrible in college, is terrible in the NFL, and deserves every bit of the mocking and laughter he is currently enduring.

Cam will get another chance next year, and in the next six games to prove Armando and everyone else wrong, but if I were a betting man, I'd say he won't.

5:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful. Write a book, bro, you're really good.

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear ao: You are a poor Cuban chick? How about a picture?

8:36 PM  
Anonymous FLPD said...

Tony V: I know you said you know your own business and that is why your boss is OK with you posting on here so often.

But really, don't you think you should get back to that paper route so the customers won't be angry?

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FLPD:

Funny. I know you think your name tells everyone you're a cop, but to me it says "flipped". As in what you probably do to burgers, at your job.

Seriously, what did I say to you that deserved this? Are you not a fan of the Constitution or are for kicking people when they're down, as the blog that started this indicates? You probably are. I guess maybe you are a cop.

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DOWN 10 POINT AND THE CLOCK BEING WHERE IT WAS, CAM MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. AT THE ONE YARD LINE AND 4 TRIES, YOU NEED TO GO FOR THE 6..KNOWING HOW TUFF ITS FOR THE DOLPHINS TO GET THERE. RIGHT CALL....BAD CALL PLAYING. IF THEY MADE IT,THE ONLY NEED OF FG NOT A T.D. I AGRREE, PITCHING THE BALL BACK, BAD CALL...
you predicition was they would make the playoffs this year. COULD YOU HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG? I THOUGHT HE MIGHT HAVE BECK PUSH IT IN. WHO HAVE HAVE THOUGHT THAT... THAT WOUld HAVE BEEN MY CALL.....I THINK YOU HAVE LOST YOUR CREDIBILITY, ARMANDO

12:01 PM  

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